okay so coral blue number 5 semi gloss lipstick
i want it and i don’t even wear lipstick
*walks out of exam*
well i was successfully able to bullshit every answer on the test so i think i did okay
inside jokes are so amazing and powerful like you can say one word one fucking word and have a person on the floor laughing or glaring at you while saying your name in complete exasperation while everyone else is just utterly confused
since I’m 18 now I had to call the hospital myself to get test results and I was simply planning on saying that I had a blood test last week and if I could get the results back but when the woman answered I said “I want my blood back” and hung up the phone, so I’m never trying that again
THIS IS WORSE THAN THE MUG GIRL
What the fuck kind of MC Escher stairs was this bitch walking down
Welp, you just an assed out individual huh?
Books don’t shatter.
did you hear about the italian chef who died?
he pasta way
he just ran out of thyme
here today, gone tomato
his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it
we never sausage a tragedy coming
ashes to ashes, crust to crust
there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world
it’s called fashion look it up
yes but consider ur fav ship
- making rly bad jokes rly at night and full on snort laughing w/ each other
- FIGHTING OVER BLANKETS IN BED
- 1 of them cooking dinner but its shit and the other totally taking the piss
- finding the song that’s /their song/ but its a rly bad song…
why are gay rights events always in the summer?
because pride goeth before the fall
i was so excited about this pun i literally ran out of the shower without turning the water off
is that really the most popular search regarding wanda
that’s hilary duff tho
no, thats beyonce
I want to know why